Uniformity - Mega Stress (but temporary)

Spoiler Alert! Tip: You just have to knit and knit and knit..

So, following a few oblong/rhombus shaped practice samplers using the videos in my last post, I got the basics in from Abakhan. This included a random selection of yarn chosen purely by colour - a super chunky cream, a fine green, a very fine pink mohair and couple of shades of brown. I also picked up a variety of needles; some resin, some plastic, some bamboo, some circle needles, and made sure they were the correct sizes for the yarn I had chosen.

Hint - If you look at the label on the yarn, it will show you which gauge/size of needle would work with it.

I started by matching a brown yarn to some 5mm needles and cast on cocky as anything. I soon realised I was dropping stitches (missing them out), picking up several stitches (miraculously creating extra stitches), twisting stitches and splitting stitches (where you pierce the stitch rather than work around it). My samplers basically look like shit - as you can see.

Bad knitting

My problem was uniformity of the stitches and controlling the tension of the working yarn (attached to the ball). After a quick Google, it seemed all I had to do was practice and knit as much as possible. Great.

My next move was possibly the best I could've made to improve the quality of my kitting; I picked up the chunky yarn and size 10 circular needles I'd bought (needles connected with a 80cm wire) and I cast on as many stitches as I could fit on there, didn't count them, and knit every row. It was hard going as the wool was difficult to work with, the plastic needles weren't slippy enough for me and I'm pretty sure it gave me arthritis, but I kept going. When I'd hit the third ball of yarn I called it quits for a while, purely to give my knuckles a rest. It looked like this after one skein and three skeins:

One Skein

Three Skeins

It still looks like that. However, when I picked up the finer yarn and standard needles and started knitting in stockinette (One row of knit stitch, one row of purl stitch ad infinitum), it came out perfect, or as perfect as I can expect it to be. Tension sorted.

Yeah!

Tip 1: Knitting - The Shit Kind

My grandmother taught me to knit about 20 years ago. When I say knit, I mean I mastered casting on, knit stitch and casting off with absolutely no regard for the art nor any inclination to pursue it beyond the several multicoloured oblongs that littered my 'Knitting Bag' (aka a fabric teardrop with tortoiseshell handles of course). What brought me back was a combination of two things; the desire to become good at anything and watching a film called Sightseers, within which one of the characters just happens to knit in couple of scenes. Aha! She's acting and knitting! Of course! I should knit! Whatever.

Following my phenomenal self-realisation, my first instinct was to go out and buy books. Books are useful, books teach you things, books are pretty and look nice on the shelf. Being impatient and needing things NOW, I didn't buy online and get the best price, no, I went down to Waterstones during my lunch hour and bought the two books that stood out the brightest on the shelf and paid a premium.

Knit Step by Step - Vikki Haffenden & Frederica Patmore

Tech Knits - Sue Culligan

As a born again beginner, I found Knit Step by Step useful insofar as it offers tips on what type of yarn to use for what type of garments/objects. It also provides advice on needle gauge and knitting tools. However, to begin the knitting process, following a series of photographs is virtually impossible as you cannot see how the needles move nor how the yarn is worked without drowning in a sea of angry swooping arrows and blurring text. 

Tech Knits is wonderful. There are numerous kooky projects that appeal to someone like me, such as a graphic equalizer scarf or a pair of socks with an aerial intarsia on the side. The projects, although very well instructed and simplified, are way beyond my capabilities because I do not understand pattern-speak adequately enough yet to even begin.

So, tip number one for beginners? DO NOT BUY BOOKS. Purge the internet for instruction videos and try not to cry when the instructor knits and purls like a total boss. My favourite series of absolute beginner videos an be found here on the Very Pink website - try them. If you must buy a pretty book, buy one for aspirational purposes to keep you in the game.

Bleurgs

I hate blogs, and people who blog, and Blogger, and god damn Blogger templates. I have just spent a number of hours creating this masterpiece of a template using a stolen image and basic Blogger editor. This is fully representative of the magnificent creative explorations and endeavors that will duly fall upon these pages for your utmost delight. I don't need to elaborate too much as it surely speaks for itself, but what I will add is that my projects will be centred upon creative arts and how most of them, mine, turn out thigh-slappingly bad yet also how useful and ultimately enjoyable lessons are learned on the way. Consider this, then, an online manual in what not to do. Forward!