Oh, Pretty Yarn! AKA 'Add to Basket'

I've been on a yarn spree again. I chose 564 patterns I wanted to try out, including a couple of gifts I want to knit and yet again, I need just one more piece of equipment to make any of them. If you are in the UK, I'd recommended Wool Warehouse for your supplier if you are as impatient as me. I receive next day delivery service on a standard delivery charge every single time.

In the intermittent delivery period, while I wait for my 97 pence cable needle, I decided to try and knit another hat on the circular needles. As my head is huge and the last ski cap was a little like trying to squeeze ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag, I decided to base the pattern loosely on the Vermonter Hat pattern I tried last time and increase the amount of ribbing rows on the brim and increase the crown of the hat in length by a few more too. This is what happened this afternoon...

Now, I will go as far as to say I am neat. I am neat as fuck. This shit isn't even blocked yet and I can't stop looking at my neatness. However, it is still on the tight side and the wool is a little stiff when knit-up so the hat stands to attention when worn on the head and looks a lot like an acorn, or a pear. I'm sure it would look a lot better on a smaller head but there are no smaller heads here right now. 

So neat it sets my teeth on edge

Simple materials

Anyway, for a simple quick knit, try this very vague pattern loosely based on the Vermonter Hat pattern:

Materials

• 8mm 16 inch/40 cm circular needle
• Chunky or Super Chunky wool that is designed for 8mm needles. I used Sirdar Hayfield Super Chunky in Oats
• Set of four or five 8mm double pointed needles - five is easier
• Stitch marker
• Tapestry needle

Gauge

I don't know, I didn't measure. I'm not up to this stage in my knitting life yet.

Instructions

1. Cast on 44 stitches any god dam way you want. I did it using my regular thumb cast on.
2. Place your stitch marker on the right needle and join for working in the round - watch this if you don't know how.
3. For the brim, knit as many rows as you like in K1 P1 ribbing i.e Knit one then purl one without stopping until your brim is as wide as you want it to be. Don't drop any stitches or it will go horribly wrong.
4. For the main section of the crown (before you want to start decreasing and making it narrower, knit every row until you feel you'd like to start tapering down.
5. Start decreasing. You will need to change to your DPNs at some point here. If you don't know how, watch this - I used the Vermonter decreasing method without the purling, which is as follows:

Rounds 1: Knit
Round 2: *K2tog, knit 5* repeat all the way around
Rounds 3: Knit
Round 4: *K2tog, knit 4* repeat all the way around.
Round 5: Knit
Round 6: *K2tog, knit 3* repeat all the way around.
Round 7: Knit
Round 8: *K2tog, knit 2* repeat all the way around.
Round 9: Knit
Round 10: K2tog all the way around

Now there should be 6 stitches left on your needles. If not, it doesn't really matter. Take your needles out carefully and using the working yarn threaded through the tapestry needle (or using your fingers), thread the yarn through the open stitches then pull it tight like a drawstring. Neaten up/secure the loose thread as you like.

If you want, make a pom pom and sew it on top to conceal any hideous mistakes you might have made in the last minute. Done.

Now, i'm off to look at my impossibly beautiful garden rose that has bloomed twice the size of the picture below. Pure melancholy!

Rose from my garden

Tip 1: Knitting - The Shit Kind

My grandmother taught me to knit about 20 years ago. When I say knit, I mean I mastered casting on, knit stitch and casting off with absolutely no regard for the art nor any inclination to pursue it beyond the several multicoloured oblongs that littered my 'Knitting Bag' (aka a fabric teardrop with tortoiseshell handles of course). What brought me back was a combination of two things; the desire to become good at anything and watching a film called Sightseers, within which one of the characters just happens to knit in couple of scenes. Aha! She's acting and knitting! Of course! I should knit! Whatever.

Following my phenomenal self-realisation, my first instinct was to go out and buy books. Books are useful, books teach you things, books are pretty and look nice on the shelf. Being impatient and needing things NOW, I didn't buy online and get the best price, no, I went down to Waterstones during my lunch hour and bought the two books that stood out the brightest on the shelf and paid a premium.

Knit Step by Step - Vikki Haffenden & Frederica Patmore

Tech Knits - Sue Culligan

As a born again beginner, I found Knit Step by Step useful insofar as it offers tips on what type of yarn to use for what type of garments/objects. It also provides advice on needle gauge and knitting tools. However, to begin the knitting process, following a series of photographs is virtually impossible as you cannot see how the needles move nor how the yarn is worked without drowning in a sea of angry swooping arrows and blurring text. 

Tech Knits is wonderful. There are numerous kooky projects that appeal to someone like me, such as a graphic equalizer scarf or a pair of socks with an aerial intarsia on the side. The projects, although very well instructed and simplified, are way beyond my capabilities because I do not understand pattern-speak adequately enough yet to even begin.

So, tip number one for beginners? DO NOT BUY BOOKS. Purge the internet for instruction videos and try not to cry when the instructor knits and purls like a total boss. My favourite series of absolute beginner videos an be found here on the Very Pink website - try them. If you must buy a pretty book, buy one for aspirational purposes to keep you in the game.