"I knit so I don't kill people"

Winter is upon us. We don't get an Autumn/Fall in Manchester, we get a soggy and windy pre-Christmas dragged-through-a-hedge arsehole of season chill. This requires knitwear, hats and boots to keep the hair under control and prevent the feet from absorbing enough moisture to service a third world country.

However, there is just too much work and chore in life for adequate time to knit all that is required. I've not had a proper knit/rest for at least two weeks, well, until today. In that time I seem to have hoarded a large amount of mismatched yarn, patterns and equipment with no real vision over what I'm making. I need some order, I need some time, I need a week off work with no need to wash or go anywhere or do anything. In fact I need no job, I need loads of money, a personal trainer, a shop stocked with cascade yarn all of my own, a lottery win...it always ends with a lottery win doesn't it? Either that or a fantasy involving winning the This Morning competition.

Anyway, back in the reality of my bedroom (because I don't use the room I have dedicated to craft and suitcases full of unworn clothing) I have decided to knit the Jared Flood/Brooklin Tweed Rosebud hat, the bigger version. It's the most complicated looking pattern I've tried so far but it's actually fairly simple. 

Rosebud by Jared Flood

The cable is big but very easy to do. The only problem I'm having is with the sore fingertips from pushing the stitches around the circular needles. Here's how It's looking so far:

               

Plain old garter stitch 

Cable just forming

Oh, Pretty Yarn! AKA 'Add to Basket'

I've been on a yarn spree again. I chose 564 patterns I wanted to try out, including a couple of gifts I want to knit and yet again, I need just one more piece of equipment to make any of them. If you are in the UK, I'd recommended Wool Warehouse for your supplier if you are as impatient as me. I receive next day delivery service on a standard delivery charge every single time.

In the intermittent delivery period, while I wait for my 97 pence cable needle, I decided to try and knit another hat on the circular needles. As my head is huge and the last ski cap was a little like trying to squeeze ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag, I decided to base the pattern loosely on the Vermonter Hat pattern I tried last time and increase the amount of ribbing rows on the brim and increase the crown of the hat in length by a few more too. This is what happened this afternoon...

Now, I will go as far as to say I am neat. I am neat as fuck. This shit isn't even blocked yet and I can't stop looking at my neatness. However, it is still on the tight side and the wool is a little stiff when knit-up so the hat stands to attention when worn on the head and looks a lot like an acorn, or a pear. I'm sure it would look a lot better on a smaller head but there are no smaller heads here right now. 

So neat it sets my teeth on edge

Simple materials

Anyway, for a simple quick knit, try this very vague pattern loosely based on the Vermonter Hat pattern:

Materials

• 8mm 16 inch/40 cm circular needle
• Chunky or Super Chunky wool that is designed for 8mm needles. I used Sirdar Hayfield Super Chunky in Oats
• Set of four or five 8mm double pointed needles - five is easier
• Stitch marker
• Tapestry needle

Gauge

I don't know, I didn't measure. I'm not up to this stage in my knitting life yet.

Instructions

1. Cast on 44 stitches any god dam way you want. I did it using my regular thumb cast on.
2. Place your stitch marker on the right needle and join for working in the round - watch this if you don't know how.
3. For the brim, knit as many rows as you like in K1 P1 ribbing i.e Knit one then purl one without stopping until your brim is as wide as you want it to be. Don't drop any stitches or it will go horribly wrong.
4. For the main section of the crown (before you want to start decreasing and making it narrower, knit every row until you feel you'd like to start tapering down.
5. Start decreasing. You will need to change to your DPNs at some point here. If you don't know how, watch this - I used the Vermonter decreasing method without the purling, which is as follows:

Rounds 1: Knit
Round 2: *K2tog, knit 5* repeat all the way around
Rounds 3: Knit
Round 4: *K2tog, knit 4* repeat all the way around.
Round 5: Knit
Round 6: *K2tog, knit 3* repeat all the way around.
Round 7: Knit
Round 8: *K2tog, knit 2* repeat all the way around.
Round 9: Knit
Round 10: K2tog all the way around

Now there should be 6 stitches left on your needles. If not, it doesn't really matter. Take your needles out carefully and using the working yarn threaded through the tapestry needle (or using your fingers), thread the yarn through the open stitches then pull it tight like a drawstring. Neaten up/secure the loose thread as you like.

If you want, make a pom pom and sew it on top to conceal any hideous mistakes you might have made in the last minute. Done.

Now, i'm off to look at my impossibly beautiful garden rose that has bloomed twice the size of the picture below. Pure melancholy!

Rose from my garden

I've made a goddamn hat.

I've made a hat. It actually fits on my head. I'm making a noise only dogs can hear, I'm that delighted.

Proud of hat, ashamed of hair

I noticed someone on Tumblr (If it was you, thank you!) trying out The Vermonter Hat and had managed to finish it over night. I took a look at the free pattern on Ravelry made by Abi Gregorio, realised I could probably do it with a few small purchases, and it worked a treat. It took four hours, no tears and only some minor hesitation when changing from the circular needles onto the double points when closing up the top. I highly recommend the pattern for a first attempt at a hat.

What I did do wrong was fail to check the gauge/tension of the yarn I was using so it came up a bit small, which I expected after the first round as it seemed a bit child-sized . So, check your gauge, knit a square and measure it to make sure it matches the pattern gauge.

Now, what the hell next...oh yes, the sweater is on hold, not a quick enough knit :/

Er Wait.. Oh...My..Freakin..God.I'm.Knitting.DoubleSidedInTwoColours!

Side 1

Just a quick note before I start punching the bed in sweater hell.

I was messing around with two colours of yarn recently and started a pot stand pattern in the Tech Knits book. It's a double strand cast on so you basically just cast on stitches as normal but holding two colours of thread together as if they were one. Note: The cast on stitches need to alternate in colour. I cast on 70 stitches in total.

Row 1: Knit the first stitch which is, say green, using only the green yarn to wrap the needle. Bring both the green and blue yarn to the front as if preparing to purl, then purl the next stitch (blue) using only the blue yarn. Move the working yarns to the back of the work again is if preparing to knit, then knit the next stitch (green) using only the green yarn. Keep doing this to the last stitch, which you should purl.

Side 2

If you follow these instructions should they make any sense whatsoever, you will notice that you are basically purling one side of the work in one colour and knitting the other side in the other colour AT THE SAME TIME. It's magnificent, and it works so well so easily.

For Row 2: Do the same but reverse the stitches i.e. Purl the knits and knit the Purls.

Edit: Keep repeating rows one and two until you're ready to cast off.

Cross Stitch - takes bloody ages!

I'm having a break from cross stitch. It's wonderful, fun and good results come easily if you use all the tips on offer on the web, but results are slow and I just got a new piano that I already love dearly and am excited to get home to at night.

Piano and cat

In light of this, I've picked up the needles again in quieter times, as even piano practise has to stop to allow the practise to sink into your finger muscles (finger muscles?). Well, for me it does.

I'm currently practising garter rib on a fully loaded needle and have decided to turn it into a pillow when it's big enough.

Garter rib.

How to:

Cast on a multiple of 8 stitches plus 4 extra stitches.

Row 1: knit 4, *purl 4, knit 4 repeat from * to end.  (in English, just knit 4 purl 4 alternately to the end!)

Row 2: purl to the end

Repeat the above two rows until the piece is as big as you want it.

Cross Stitch Tales: Episode 1 - A Break From the Wool

It's so damn hot. So hot. Wool does not even get a look in. 

The lacklustre sense of blah following the last knitting project has led me to my first cross stitch project. I've purchased a pattern and the required equipment, which mainly comprises of another embroidery hoop, lots of needles, Aida cloth (14 ct) and lots of thread. I went for the higher quality fabric as this apparently keeps its shape better.

Ignore my veiny blue legs

Here's a little snippet of how far I've got with it..not very. The pattern is a great one, purchased from Etsy, and will not be what it appears to be right now. 

Taste da Rainbow

Tips for cross stitch so far :

1. Buy good quality fabric

2. Buy and load up a few needles to save time re-threading

3. Always do every cross the same way i.e \ then / for uniformity (that old shit bag again!)

It does take a lot of time to do a project of the size and amount of colours I have chosen, I realise that now. I don't think a smaller project would've inspired me to pick up the craft though so I'm keeping on with it.

That's all I've got for you right now but I have plenty brewing.

The Cassette Purse Disaster

Well, I tried it and it didn't work out, as expected, because I'm shit at everything!

New lovely wool

I bought some lovely wool, less fluffy than the practice pieces and set to work. It started well and everything was nice and neat. I started the colour changes and started to forget the last three moss stitching, then the tensions started to go from the where the colour changes. I'd gone too far not to finish but I am severely displeased with the result. It can just about function as a holder of something but I think i'll keep this one in the drawer.

                   

I have no tips on how to make this kind of result better, except practice. I'm quite annoyed.

Serious Project No. 1 - The Cassette Purse

I'm getting cocky again. I can now knit, purl, cast on and off, I've sampled moss stitch, I've attempted a simple bootie that came out actual foot-shaped which means I've 'decreased' with some success. Now to try something I think looks cool.

The 'aspirational' Tech Knits book mentioned in my second post is calling me, probably in a mocking tone, but I'm going to give one of the easier projects a good go. I've chosen the cassette purse. I need a purse. Who doesn't need a purse?! I'm using, size 4 UK needles, DK yarn, a press stud and a sewing needle.

Tech Knits  - Cassette Purse

I've been through the pattern and all of a sudden seem to understand the pattern speak (there's that practice thing working again). Stockinette - can do! Change colour mid row- watched a video, can do! Follow a pattern chart - looks easy! Sew some shit up and install a press stud - we'll see!

Any way, to avoid tears and tantrums I decided to practice the pattern in some cheap wool I have..it started to look like the pattern and I was effing DELIGHTED.

What I learned from this bit of practice was that changing colours mid row leads to having floating threads at the back. As in this picture below.

These I discovered are called floats. I also discovered that if you change colours while your knitting is all bunched up on the needles, the floats are too tight because they only span the bunched work. Tip 1 for changing colours - ALWAYS STRETCH THE WORK OUT TO ACTUAL SIZE WHEN CHANGING A COLOUR. This allows the float at the back (wrong side) to span the work when flat and not bunch or pucker up the pattern into obscurity. I have no idea what else you can do about the floats to make the wrong side neater but maybe i'll find out eventually.

TIP 2. The second thing I discovered during the test sample, completely by Google-accident was that when you swap colours, you should bring the new colour working yarn (right hand) OVER THE TOP OF THE OLD COLOUR. In writing, this made no sense to me. If you don't get it, read this super blog for tips using multiple colours and avoid leaving holes where yarns are dropped for new colours.

With these lessons learned I decided I needed new yarn for my new project. To Abakhans!

Uniformity - Mega Stress (but temporary)

Spoiler Alert! Tip: You just have to knit and knit and knit..

So, following a few oblong/rhombus shaped practice samplers using the videos in my last post, I got the basics in from Abakhan. This included a random selection of yarn chosen purely by colour - a super chunky cream, a fine green, a very fine pink mohair and couple of shades of brown. I also picked up a variety of needles; some resin, some plastic, some bamboo, some circle needles, and made sure they were the correct sizes for the yarn I had chosen.

Hint - If you look at the label on the yarn, it will show you which gauge/size of needle would work with it.

I started by matching a brown yarn to some 5mm needles and cast on cocky as anything. I soon realised I was dropping stitches (missing them out), picking up several stitches (miraculously creating extra stitches), twisting stitches and splitting stitches (where you pierce the stitch rather than work around it). My samplers basically look like shit - as you can see.

Bad knitting

My problem was uniformity of the stitches and controlling the tension of the working yarn (attached to the ball). After a quick Google, it seemed all I had to do was practice and knit as much as possible. Great.

My next move was possibly the best I could've made to improve the quality of my kitting; I picked up the chunky yarn and size 10 circular needles I'd bought (needles connected with a 80cm wire) and I cast on as many stitches as I could fit on there, didn't count them, and knit every row. It was hard going as the wool was difficult to work with, the plastic needles weren't slippy enough for me and I'm pretty sure it gave me arthritis, but I kept going. When I'd hit the third ball of yarn I called it quits for a while, purely to give my knuckles a rest. It looked like this after one skein and three skeins:

One Skein

Three Skeins

It still looks like that. However, when I picked up the finer yarn and standard needles and started knitting in stockinette (One row of knit stitch, one row of purl stitch ad infinitum), it came out perfect, or as perfect as I can expect it to be. Tension sorted.

Yeah!

Tip 1: Knitting - The Shit Kind

My grandmother taught me to knit about 20 years ago. When I say knit, I mean I mastered casting on, knit stitch and casting off with absolutely no regard for the art nor any inclination to pursue it beyond the several multicoloured oblongs that littered my 'Knitting Bag' (aka a fabric teardrop with tortoiseshell handles of course). What brought me back was a combination of two things; the desire to become good at anything and watching a film called Sightseers, within which one of the characters just happens to knit in couple of scenes. Aha! She's acting and knitting! Of course! I should knit! Whatever.

Following my phenomenal self-realisation, my first instinct was to go out and buy books. Books are useful, books teach you things, books are pretty and look nice on the shelf. Being impatient and needing things NOW, I didn't buy online and get the best price, no, I went down to Waterstones during my lunch hour and bought the two books that stood out the brightest on the shelf and paid a premium.

Knit Step by Step - Vikki Haffenden & Frederica Patmore

Tech Knits - Sue Culligan

As a born again beginner, I found Knit Step by Step useful insofar as it offers tips on what type of yarn to use for what type of garments/objects. It also provides advice on needle gauge and knitting tools. However, to begin the knitting process, following a series of photographs is virtually impossible as you cannot see how the needles move nor how the yarn is worked without drowning in a sea of angry swooping arrows and blurring text. 

Tech Knits is wonderful. There are numerous kooky projects that appeal to someone like me, such as a graphic equalizer scarf or a pair of socks with an aerial intarsia on the side. The projects, although very well instructed and simplified, are way beyond my capabilities because I do not understand pattern-speak adequately enough yet to even begin.

So, tip number one for beginners? DO NOT BUY BOOKS. Purge the internet for instruction videos and try not to cry when the instructor knits and purls like a total boss. My favourite series of absolute beginner videos an be found here on the Very Pink website - try them. If you must buy a pretty book, buy one for aspirational purposes to keep you in the game.

Bleurgs

I hate blogs, and people who blog, and Blogger, and god damn Blogger templates. I have just spent a number of hours creating this masterpiece of a template using a stolen image and basic Blogger editor. This is fully representative of the magnificent creative explorations and endeavors that will duly fall upon these pages for your utmost delight. I don't need to elaborate too much as it surely speaks for itself, but what I will add is that my projects will be centred upon creative arts and how most of them, mine, turn out thigh-slappingly bad yet also how useful and ultimately enjoyable lessons are learned on the way. Consider this, then, an online manual in what not to do. Forward!